As the holiday season gets into full swing, one of the biggest questions that parents with kids of a certain age is whether or not to give in to the constant nagging for a phone (at least, that was our house…) There are all sorts of reasons to hold off on phones for as long as possible – but that’s for another post.
At some point, the nagging or need becomes too much, and we give in and decide it’s time to provide some form of communication device for our kids. Whether your child is 6 or 16, this decision is not easy, nor is the making the decision the easy part – where do you go from here?
Here are a few ideas:
Watches:
For the majority of kids, the first reason for a phone is to communicate with parents – especially younger kids. Watch phones are a great choice for the under 10s (or under 13s if you can get away with it). The simple ones that are really limited are great if you just need your child to be able to contact a few people and really want to avoid all the additional phone issues.
In the USA at least, some cell phone companies have their own watches – so which one you pick may be limited to your cell phone. We ended up going with Verizon’s Gizmos back in 2019. The Gizmo allows up to 10 numbers that communicate via text with the Gizmo app. Parents have to approve any new phone numbers on their app, and the watch can be used to take calls (on speaker phone only) and send either one of a small number of pre-set texts (which you can edit) and send voice mails. You can also track the location of the phone. All in all, these were great starter-phones, when you have a lot of control and no games, social media or internet access.
There are a lot of other options – Gabb watches, TickTalk, JrTrack, 4G kids, to name a few. There are small differences and a range of prices, with parents finding the location tracking, call quality etc. differ between devices. But all essentially cover the simple need to get in touch with your kids without actual phones. If you go for one of these, I’d suggest asking some local parents’ groups for any advice on what works best in your local area.
Apple Watches
Apple watches – if I’d realized this was as good an option as it is, I’d probably have fought for an apple watch over a phone for the twins for at least a year. We gave them iPhones at 12, and the screens are so very addictive, that I’d have liked to give them a little longer without them. Apple watches with cellular can function without being tethered to an iPhone (but do need a parent one to set it up, track etc.). The SE model is decent and reasonably priced, allowing kids to access many features common to the iPhone, but without the addictive nature of screens. Also, you miss out on the camera, which may be a deal breaker.
“Kid smartphones”
For a step between a watch and a full blown smartphone, but not a flip phone, are the few children’s phones that look like regular phones but are far easier lock down and control. Pinwheel phones have been for a while, and don’t allow any social media or web browsers. Bark phones, which are a recent addition to the side of things, appear to be more popular (from some of the parent pages I read) taking the benefits of Bark tools without the annoyance of kids being able to deactivate them or having to fight with iOS to keep them active. Both look like smart phones, and have camera capabilities – though I’m not sure any 13 year old will be fooled for very long in terms of the acceptability among peers. However, if your teen is struggling with social media, or you’re worried about monitoring internet use, these are a great option.
Smartphones
This is the tricky one, the one all the kids campaign for, and the hardest to monitor. We’re an apple family, so went with iPhones – which without a doubt are the hardest to lock down or track. When it comes down to it, Apple are concerned about their users’ privacy rather than about parents’ ability to keep their children safe. It’s hard work to keep things under observation. There are tools out there – I’ve talked about Bark elsewhere – and although there are ways around pretty much anything you try, it’s worth the work to monitor, track and TALK to your kids.
Helping kids understand what the concerns are, and what they need to pay attention to, is essential. Unfortunately, one of the basic elements of being a human is not really having a good grasp of what we don’t know, and this is especially true for teenagers. Thus, you’ll most likely get some attitude – you’re over-bearing, over-concerned, a luddite who is just scared of the world – but don’t back down. Your kids need to know what is out there, and you need to keep monitoring for any concerning activity. Keep talking to them and don’t let your guard down.
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