One of my biggest concerns on this journey of raising children in our technological society, is thinking about how we help our kids become someone authentic, someone true to themselves, someone who has real experiences, while always being aware of their audiences.
In a recent podcast on The Gray Area with Sean Illing the guest was the author Tara Isabella Burton whose book Self-Made: Creating our identities from Da Vinci to the Kardashians got me thinking how such a large part of our existence can be curated for others.
This is far from the world my parents grew up in – where everyone knew everyone, and you had little freedom to be anyone of your own choosing unless you moved far from home. Now we live in a global society, with little or no local community. Our children can share themselves with a wide forum of people, yet not be recognized by their neighbor walking down the street – and for that matter, so can we.
The pressure to create oneself seems immense, along with the fear of not being seen, or accepted, for who you really are, because no one knows who you really are. For teenagers, striving to become someone, the potential for extraordinary existential crises concerns me.
I like Burton’s advice – help kids form community, feel like they belong, be honest about who they are with a small group of trusted friends. It’s not going to be easy, but we owe it to our kids to model authentic relationships, caring for our community and belonging for who you are, not for who you create yourself to be.
Love this!